


Kara-chaos-oke

by Obeymepoptart



Series: Chaos is My Mistress [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Explicit Lyrics, Gen, Karaoke, No beta we die like lilith, Singing, Swearing, slow start but maximum chaos will be achieved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obeymepoptart/pseuds/Obeymepoptart
Summary: MC does karaoke with the brothers.Ch 1: In which you reveal yourself as a metal head.Ch 2: In which you invite Lucifer to karaoke, and he raps his little black heart out.Ch 3: Lord Diavolo sings, and does costume changes. Barbatos fights you.
Series: Chaos is My Mistress [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850749
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	1. Superstition, Fear, and Jealousy

You’ve been in Devildom for about a month before the brothers decide to invite you to karaoke together. At this point, you’ve managed to establish a pact with Mammon, Levi, Beel, and Asmo. You’re actually pretty excited because its been a really eventful month, and you’re looking forward to just rocking out. You were somewhat nervous because one of your favorite categories is metal, until Asmo started scolding Mammon about his own metal preferences. You gave Mammon an encouraging smile. You sat back as Mammon sang a J-Metal song, Levi picked a song from Sucre Frenzy (he’s got a surprisingly good voice), and Asmo dominated a pop song ballad. Beel didn’t seem to have any preferences or to actually want to sing, although you caught him once or twice singing along to the pop song’s chorus with a bass voice. 

“Yuki!!! It’s your turn! You should pick a song!” Asmo thrilled. “What type of songs do you like to sing?”

You smiled. Your playlists, which the brothers have heard at some point or another, have ranged from pop to EDM to classical and metal. You also have a passion for mashups and covers. But when it came karaoke you loved both classic rock, alterna-90s songs, and of course, metal. “Promise you won’t make a ton of fun of me? I’m also not the best singer,” you added.

“Go for it, Yuki! Show us whatcha got!” Mammon said enthusiastically. 

You go through the catalogue, and settle for one of your favorites. After requesting it, you get curious glances from the brothers. The pounding beat started, and the lyrics flashed on the screen. With a deep breath, you decided to go for broke. You actually stepped on the table and then belted out:

_Dead I am the one, exterminating son_   
_Slipping through the trees, strangling the breeze_   
_Dead I am the sky, watching angels cry_   
_While they slowly turn, conquering the worm_

You haven’t looked around you, but your foot is tapping along. You missed this. Rob Zombie’s Dragula was just a fun song to sing, and weirdly appropriate now that you’re a student exchange student in Devildom. Did the brothers appreciate the irony?

_Dig through the ditches_   
_And burn through the witches_   
_I slam in the back of my_   
_Dragula!_

You looked around you to see Asmo look at you fascinated, Levi was gaping, Mammon was rocking along, and Beel had managed to stop eating the snacks. You add a snarl for the next couple of lyrics. 

_Dead I am the pool, spreading from the fool_   
_Weak and what you need, nowhere as you bleed_   
_Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat_   
_Tender is the fur, dying as you purr_

By the time you get to the chorus, you definitely have Mammon and Beel cheering you on and singing along. Asmo is taking a video of you on the table, rock and rolling and doing your best Rob Zombie impersonation. By the time you get to,

_Dead I am the life, dig into the skin_   
_Knuckle crack the bone, twenty one to win_   
_Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry_   
_Devil on your back, I can never die_

You are in full on rock god mode. You winked at Mammon when you sang “twenty one to win” and he actually blushed. By the last Dragula you sang out, everyone seemed to have enjoyed your performance. You stepped off the table and collapsed on a couch.

“YUKI! THAT WAS AMAZING!” Asmo squealed. 

“I had no idea you were also a metal fan! Right on!” Mammon added.

You grinned. “Awww thanks. I discovered metal early on. I think because my parents were definitely into arena rock.”

“Is that your favorite song or singer?” Levi asked curiously.

“Rob Zombie? Uh, I like him, but he’s not actually my favorite. My favorite is from a band that isn’t really together anymore. I think the last time they released something was maybe fifteen years ago?” you answered. You definitely had missed out on their heyday. You definitely wished that you had been able to at least see their singer spit out lyrics like a goddamn gaitling gun.

“Sing one of their songs then, if they’re your favorite then,” Beel encouraged gently. I guess your disappointment showed on your face.

“Grab your hats fellas, you’re in for a treat,” you said.

Before long, Tom Morello’s wailing guitar and RAGE was blaring through the speakers, and you were doing your best to rap your heart out like Zac de la Rocha. You actually pick ‘Killing in the Name Of’ because it’s easier to keep up with Zac, and it is their single most famous song.

You actually get all the guys to sing with you. They seemed to really enjoy screaming out the “Fuck You I Won’t Do What You Tell Me” at the end. Of course they do, everyone does.

“That’s a human song?” Beel asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes, but it’s also a song that protests police brutality in the US. The lyrics Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses is a reference to how police departments became a legalized way for the KKK in some communities to terrorize civilians. Burning crosses is the reference to the practice of placing a burning cross in the middle of the night on your neighbor's yard, usually as a warning, and typically for a person of color,” you summarized. “All of RAGE’s songs are political. Sometimes people miss their message because the guitar riffs and beats are so good. I had a friend who I think literally wrote an essay about RAGE for every single assignment of US History.”

“Sounds like something Satan would be into,” Levi mused.

“Maybe we'll invite him next time? If he’s not too busy,” you said. You weren’t against RAGE evangelization. 

“Yuki, make me a playlist of the songs you like to sing on karaoke, so I can sing one with you the next time,” Mammon said.

“Me too!” Asmo enthused.

“Don’t forget about me!” Levi said.

Beel just nodded his head.

“Uh sure, how about this? I’ll make a playlist on Devotify the next few days, and I’ll share it with all of you?” you said, referring to the Devildom version of Spotify. You would probably have to upload several of your human songs, but hey, at least you had that option. 

***

The next few days, you catch Asmo, Levi, Beel or Mammon humming along to one of your favorites. They puzzle the most over the RAGE lyrics, and you have to explain the references, some of which you don’t understand yourself, so it leads to further research.

“I would say primarily that Sleep Now In the Fire is about the West, and the US’s capitalistic greed and how it has led to destruction around the world, particularly in the 20th/21st century,” you answered when Levi asked you for your interpretation over breakfast.

“What’s the reference to the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria?” Beel asked.

“Oh that’s a reference to the names for the ships of Christopher Columbus, who came to the Americas, declared it the New World and uninhabited even though there were native inhabitants, and set off the European colonization of an entire continent,” you answered.

You have to admit that RAGE definitely did not make humans look good. At all.

“Are you guys discussing an assignment for the human society class?” Satan inquired curiously.

“Can you believe we’re actually discussing song lyrics?” Mammon said, shaking his head incredulously.

Satan’s eyebrows rose precipitously. “Pardon?”

“One of Yuki’s favorite human groups is this US band called Rage Against the Machine. They’re full of anger and political,” Levi summarized.

“They’re probably right up your alley Satan. Fans called them RAGE for short,” Asmo added.

“One of the songs, the lyrics are literally Fuck You I Won’t Do What You Tell Me,” Mammon added. “Which if that isn’t your anthem, I don’t know what is.”

“Tell me more, I’m suddenly very interested in this,” Satan said.

***

One week later, you’re back in the karaoke booth, with Satan standing on the table, screaming “Fuck You I Won’t Do What You Tell Me.”

“Told ya, it’s practically written for him,” Mammon whispered to you.

No one is paying attention to Asmo as he also videoed Satan. Which in hindsight, you should have.

After several hours of karaoke, you exited the karaoke booth with the brothers without realizing that Asmo had uploaded a snippet of you singing Dragula, and Satan screaming RAGE lyrics to Devilgram. 

That is until Lucifer collectively blows up all of your phones summoning you to his study.


	2. The Battle Cry of a Generation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ch 2: You invite Lucifer to karaoke, and Lucifer raps his little black heart out.

Blistering lecture aside, you spent most of the time wondering if Lucifer simply felt left out. There’s nothing objectionable about the videos themselves. Okay, maybe the language. But devil etiquette can’t be such where foul language was the actual issue. At one point, you actually zoned out and your eyes glazed over, and that seemed to irritate Lucifer all the more. Poor guy, he really needed to learn how to relax.

Unfortunately, the next karaoke session is derailed with that entire Satan-Lucifer body swapping incident. I mean, sure, you got to go to London and finally see some sunshine, and breathe some fresh air, but you’re pretty sure that having to endure the bickering between Satan and Lucifer is probably a Herculean task, trying to prove how worthy a human you are. At least, it seemed like they came out of it with an improved understanding (also they’re more like a father-child than brothers, and that’s super weird, and frankly, why they all haven’t gone to individual and family therapy is another issue. Is there therapy in Devildom? Maybe if someone was too angelic, they got sent to therapy? You really wish you could ask someone these questions. You’re sure you’d just get another lecture from Lucifer about it though.)

So when Asmo decided to celebrate your newly formed pact with Satan with another karaoke session, you make a snap decision. Yes, to the karaoke session. But it’s high time for a left degree turn.

Which is how you end up hunting down Lucifer in the Student Council room at RAD and trying to convince him to go to karaoke. He pooh-poohed you, claiming to be too busy.

“But it’s a family bonding experience! And don’t you sort of owe me with that entire Satan bodyswap incident?” you wheedled. 

“Sort of owe you? Do I owe or don’t I?” Lucifer parried.

“I’m generous, I wouldn’t say you owe owe me. That would be ungracious,” you replied loftily. “Buuuuut, if you do this, I think we can blow their minds, if you’re willing to commit to an idea.”

“Oh?” Lucifer said, raising an eyebrow. He hasn’t quite forgiven you for the chaos you’ve caused with rickrolls. He certainly isn’t happy about how popular RAGE seems to have gotten in Devildom either. Someone tried to kidnap Zac to convince him to collaborate with Tom and the others, and Lucifer had to deal with it. You’re actually surprised Satan wasn’t involved in that plot.

You pullout your DDD, with the SD card you retrieved from the human world, and played a music video for him. You chose the song very very carefully. You know Lucifer isn’t going to go with anything that isn’t too raunchy, full of explicit language. You’re seriously hoping he does however see the humor in him singing this song though.

He watched in silence. After the video ended, you said “I thought I could do all the rap pieces, and you could do the singing chorus.”

“My voice is deeper, it would be better if I did the spoken word pieces, and you did the chorus,” Lucifer mused.

“So you’re in?” you asked, incredulously.

“Only if we switch parts. I don’t think my singing voice can hit those notes,” Lucifer said dryly.

“Um, okay, but I want the rap by Kendrick Lamar,” you countered.

“Who is this Kendrick Lamar?” Lucifer asked, mystified.

“Uh, the guy that isn’t in the rest of the video, but he raps the bridge. He wears the green visor,” you explained. Kendrick Lamar is a rap god, but you don’t have time to school Lucifer in the intricacies of rap and rap history right now. You have to close a deal.

“Deal,” Lucifer said, offering you his hand to shake.

You shook his hand, shaken. If you pulled this off, it would be EPIC. And you could die, truly a legend.

“Think you can have that mastered by next week?” you asked, curiously.

“You underestimate me, my dear,” Lucifer purred.

“Alright, but if you don’t it will be your funeral,” you responded, trying not to acknowledge the endearment. You have to show no fear. Or he’ll eat you alive.

***

Except you don’t plan on rapping Kendrick Lamar. Lucifer may want to surprise his brothers, but you want to surprise Lucifer.

You skipped all the way to Purgatory Hall, hoping that someone else takes mercy on your soul.

***

A week passed too quickly, but Lucifer seemed confident, and you’re in too deep to worry about it. As you walk to the karaoke bar with Asmo, Beel, Mammon, Levi and Satan you texted Lucifer as to where to find you. You both agreed that he’d show up after 20 minutes, and a few songs had already been sung.

You texted your Kendrick Lamar to let them know the timing, and that you’d text them again once Lucifer made his appearance.

Levi has sung a Zaramela song, Mammon and Beel sung a Metallica song, and Asmo is about to pick a song, when Lucifer made his appearance.

“I know that this is a bit of a surprise, but Yuki invited me,” Lucifer said.

“Oh man, Lucifer, you’re actually taking a break?” Mammon teased.

“You know you’re going to have to sing to be able to stay,” Satan stated.

“Actually, Yuki and I have prepared a duet for all of you,” Lucifer said smugly.

Everyone else whipped around to look at you and your shit-eating grin. “Oh, and it’s good.”

“By all means, please please proceed,” Asmo squealed, handing you a microphone.

You have no idea how Lucifer has a microphone already, but you roll with it. As the first strains of the song started, you texted KL again with  _ “it’s ON”. _

Lucifer started with the intro rap: 

_ YOLO, you only live once _

_ The battle cry of a generation _

_ This life is a precious gift _

_ So don't get too crazy _

_ It's not worth the risk _

And with a wave of his hand, the Lonely Island ft. Adam Levine is playing on the big screen. You have to admit that it makes for a better experience. You sang the initial chorus in your best Adam Levine falsetto. 

Once Lucifer started rapping the first verse, his brothers had stopped gaping. He admonished Asmo about loud clubs, told Mammon to bury his money in the backyard like a beagle, and told Levi to build a bomb shelter with titanium walls. It made his brothers laugh because Lucifer is always nagging them.

By the time Lucifer was rapping the second verse calling furniture killing machines, he’s also smiling.

At which point, Simeon appeared from at the door for the Kendrick Lamar rap, wearing a green visor.

_ Uh huh, take no chances, stop freelancin' _

_ Invest in your future, don't dilute your finances _

_ 401K, make sure it's low risk _

_ Then get some real estate (how much?), four point two percent _

_ Thirty year mortgage, that's important, that's a great deal _

_ And if you can't afford it, don't forge it on your last bill _

_ Renting is for suckers right now _

_ A dependable savings _

_ And you'll retire with money in your account _

Lucifer’s expression was stunned for a moment, but Simeon smiled when he got to the 30 year mortgage lyric, and Lucifer chuckled.

You screamed BEAST at the end of the Kendrick rap, because Simeon wasn’t comfortable with that lyric. He’s precious like that.

You, Lucifer, and Simeon sang the rest of YOLO like you really were Lonely Island boys yourselves. You ran over and hugged Simeon once the song was over. “OMG, SIMEON YOU’RE THE BEEEST,” you laughed.

Simeon laughed and patted your head. “You’re welcome. That was alot of fun,” the angel said.

In the meantime, Lucifer was surrounded by his brothers who all seemed to be talking a mile a minute, laughing and making comments about his performance.

“Please tell me you got a video of all of it?” you whispered.

Simeon pointed at Luke, who had been hiding by the door, holding a phone and who waved at you.

“Perfect! Send that to me later,” you said.

“What are you two plotting now?” Lucifer asked, interrupting you and Simeon.

“I was just thanking Simeon for helping me surprise you,” you said innocently.

Lucifer harrumphed but said nothing. Simeon and Luke ended up staying for the rest of the karaoke sessions. Because Luke is present, you take it as the perfect opportunity to sing as many Disney show tunes as you can. But because you’re not a complete monster, you choose them from Moana.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen the Lonely Island video of Yolo, please do so.  
> Just google Lonely Island Yolo.


	3. Close Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And leave Lord Diavolo out of karaoke? Of course not!

“I can’t believe I missed this,” Lord Diavolo mused as he saw the video that Luke had taken of the latest karaoke session.

“Sorry, your Royal Mightiness. I would have extended an invitation, but there’s no way Mr. Responsibility would have agreed to karaoke if he even had the smallest inclination that you might have been involved,” you said with a shrug. Lucifer had the strangest ideas about propriety sometimes, even though its very clear that Lord Diavolo just wants to chill and hang.

Lord Diavolo’s handsome face is clouded with unhappiness. You see Barbatos frown slightly. You felt sorry for the big guy, but this actually played well into your plan. If Lord Diavolo felt he was missing out, maybe he’d agree with your plan. Who are you kidding? Lord Diavolo was up for any chaotic rolls he had to make. He was a natural at that.

“Listen, that’s actually why I’m here. I want to invite you to our next karaoke session. And because Lucifer isn’t performing, we can totally blow their minds,” you say. “In fact, I have a video I’d like to propose to you.”

“I’m all ears,” said the heir to Devildom. You said a quick prayer to Simeon, and pulled up another Lonely Island video. 

“This one is actually one of their first and most iconic hits,” you said before pressing play.

Lord Diavolo and Barbatos watched in silence. You heard Barbatos snort at one time, and Lord Diavolo’s face breaks into a big grin when the video hits the chorus. 

“Yes, I would like to do this,” Lord Diavolo said enthusiastically, bless his chaotic black heart. “I suppose your intention is to have me sing the melodic parts?”   
  


“Correct! I however want to borrow Barbatos for the other parts too. It’s too much for one person to attempt. I don’t think we need three people, but I think we can split the rest of the song between us,” you explained your plan.

  
  
Barbatos looked nonplussed, and Lord Diavolo turned his entire being to beam at his butler. “Barbatos, you must participate in this endeavour as well. I need your support to make it successful!”

Utter lies. There’s no way the heir to Devildom couldn’t just enchant everything to work out, but it's cute how inclusive Diavolo tries to be.

“As you wish,” Barbatos murmured, throwing a glance at you. You beamed the most angelic expression you had in you and tried not to think of anything but frolicking puppies in a field of daisies, so that wholesomeness just poured out of your pores.

“I should have my part memorized in a week,” Lord Diavolo said. “And by that time, I will also have enchanted the karaoke booth so that we actually can re-enact the video as well. I’m looking forward to all those costume changes.”

Okay, maybe this was already getting out of hand. But you let that genie out of the bottle, and now it was just riding this chaotic wave.

“I’ll be ready. Suffice to say, Barbatos already knows his part, doesn’t he?” you said with an arch of your eyebrows.

Barbatos gave you a delicate shrug. You briefly think about giving him the bird before you catch yourself. Your momma didn’t raise a blithering idiot. At least, you have some semblance of self-preservation.

“I look forward to this,” Lord Diavolo said with a beaming face. 

Worth it. Totally worth it by seeing how excited Lord Diavolo is. 

Barbatos escorted you out of Lord Diavolo’s office. You shoot him a side-long glance.

“I have to admit that I’m both impressed and appalled by the song you chose for us to perform,” Barbatos said.

Busted. You’re not surprised, considering Barbatos’ powers. “In my defense, I haven’t actually brought it up. Just think about the joy we can bring His Royal Mightiness if we did do it though.”

“Or is it because Lucifer would be thoroughly appalled?” Barbatos arched another eyebrow at you and you would have squirmed if you weren’t concentrating so hard on still walking upright.

“Oh you know, two birds, one stone,” you said blithely.

Barbatos smirked at you. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then. Well, that’s two songs I have to memorize,” you muttered.

“I have the greatest faith in you,” Barbatos said sardonically. 

***

You practiced in secret all week while trying to act normal, or as normal as you can. At this point, with your short but infamous history, you’re pretty sure they suspect you of something. What precisely you may be up to is the question none of them dare quite broach at the minute.

Because they don’t pry. There are no questions about your behavior or why you’re spending so much time by yourself. You wonder if it’s out of fear or genuine desire to be surprised. You’ve come to understand that their lives had been very predictable and boring prior to your arrival. Probably after a few hundred centuries of all the same old same old, they relished the unpredictability.

Momma taught you not to look at a gift horse in the mouth.

***

The brothers know what the surprise is the minute they walk into the karaoke booth to find Lord Diavolo and Barbatos waiting for them there. You thought it was the smartest move, because they would have all sensed Lord Diavolo’s magic the moment they walked in, particularly Lucifer, so why try to hide it.

“Lord Diavolo!” they all said in unison, which made you chuckle to yourself.

“Everyone! I am pleased that Yuki invited me to be her song companion this evening!” Lord Diavolo chirped pleasantly.

Everyone but Lord Diavolo and Barbatos shoot you a glare. You smile your biggest most shit eating grin. You see a tiny gleam of panic in all their eyes, and part of you wants to laugh loudly and maniacally.

Thankfully you’ve seen enough action movies to know that it’s a terrible move when the villain gloats over their opponent.

“Lord Diavolo, in that case, you and Yuki should go first,” Lucifer interjected quickly, perhaps hoping to shorten the karaoke session if Lord Diavolo went first, minimize the embarrassment that you and his brothers could cause him, or simply to get the inevitable done and over with.

With a snap of his fingers, Lord Diavolo gives you, Barbatos, and himself the most fitted and tailored black suits that you’ve ever seen. You take a few seconds to admire your arms and legs, because the fit is uncanny. Barbatos hands you a pair of sunglasses that you’ve seen Mammon coveting before during your last visit to Majolish, so you know that they’re not cheap at all.   


By consensus, you had decided to skip the first bit of dialogue from the Lonely Island sketch, as you felt that it gave too much away. So you open the scene with a “HERE WE GO”, and the video shot of you, Barbatos, and Lord Diavolo getting out of a Bentley. “Lonely Island, Lord Diavolo,” is what you said instead of “Michael Bolton” because, let’s face it, any reference to Michael Bolton is probably lost in the Devildom. At least, before this moment. After which its probably Michael Bolton’s life may be in danger.

  
Everyone’s jaws drop open when Barbatos raps:   
_ Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set _

_ Fuck the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet _

_ Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock _

_ You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot. _

And continued glass-eyed when the video changes from the club into a beach scene with Lord Diavolo in khakis and a breezy white shirt, singing enthusiastically:   
_ This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow _

_ Pirate so brave on the seven seas _

_ A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga _

_ Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze _

And then you’re back in the club rapping with Barbatos, when Diavolo pops up in front of both you just like Michael Bolton wearing a pirate captain’s hat, singing “ _ Now back to the good part!” _

Followed by Lord Diavolo in a crow’s nest in full pirate garb regalia, doing his best Johnny Depp as demented sea pirate Jack Sparrow, with massive amounts of eye liner.

The demented scene continues with you finally rapping “ _ Lord Diavolo, we’re really going to need you to focus up _ .”

To which Lord Diavolo replied with the iconic  _ “Roger that, let me try with another film!” _

Lord Diavolo then proceeded to costume change himself into Forrest Gump and Erin Brokovitch in back to back transformations, until he finally turned himself back into his fitted suit, and a scar running down his face for the Scarface finale, complete with what you think is in fact, a mountain of cocaine. You shot Barbatos a look, but he just said “ _ Close enough”  _ into the mike.

That bastard.

You ended the song to complete and utter shocked silence. Beel was the first one to recover, actually, and started to clap politely. Which seemed to break the spell, with Mammon and Asmo who just started laughing hysterically. You saw Belphie smirking at you, holding up his phone to show you that he has video-ed the entire thing. You gave him a thumbs up.

“Well, my friend, are you going to congratulate me?” Lord Diavolo said with a huge smile at Lucifer.

“Lord Diavolo, I don’t know what to say,” Lucifer prevaricated, while shooting you a death glare.

“It defies all words, truly,” Levi commented.

“I thought he was magnificent,” Satan said with a smirk.

“Lord Diavolo, Barbatos and I prepared a surprise for you! We’re now going to sing a duet!” you announced, seizing your moment.

Lucifer’s face froze in what looked like rictus. It was clear he wanted to stop you from singing, but couldn’t very well say so with you loudly proclaiming it was a surprise prepared for Lord Diavolo, who looked utterly delighted.

“If you could keep the enchantment going, I believe Barbatos has queued the video already,” you said, as Barbatos loped a red tie on you and deftly and impressively tied it on you in less than five seconds, before slipping a blue tie on himself and again tying it in less than five seconds.

You both took your seats in the round conference table that is the setting for Run the Jewel’s Nobody Speak video. You take a deep breath before you start off with the first rap, acting like a senior negotiator as you state:    
_ Picture this _

_ I'm a bag of dicks _

_ Put me to your lips _

_ I am sick _

_ I will punch a baby bear in his shit _

_ Give me lip _

_ I'mma send you to the yard, get a stick, make a switch _

_ I can end a conversation real quick _

Which Barbatos followed up with the second lead negotiator across the table gesticulating while rapping:   
_ I am crack _

_ I ain't lying kick a lion in his crack _

_ I'm the shit, I will fall off in your crib, take a shit _

_ Pinch your momma on the booty, kick your dog, fuck your bitch _

_ Fat boy dressed up like he's Santa and took pictures with your kids _

You both continued to rap as both sides of the table got ready to rumble. And while you haven’t coordinated the fight scene, you’re pretty sure Barbatos won’t let anything too bad happen to you, so when you’re both up against each other shoving and rapping angrily, and both sides seem to congeal into a mob, it just felt very real.   


Barbatos grabbed your tie, and you know there’s a punch coming, so you just swung yourself backwards, which he definitely expected. You got up and tried to grapple him as you both continued to rap. As everyone in the video started to fight, you and Barbatos disentangled yourselves so you can continue to rap as the entire scent devolved into one giant bar brawl.

Barbatos emerged from under one side of the conference table, while you went to lay down on the floor and started crawling about, while he grabbed the USA flag and started using it as a flag/spear to clear a way to you. You kept rapping  _ Nobody Speak, Nobody Get Choked _ , until you’re sitting on the conference table, Barbatos rapidly approaching, and you laid down on the table itself, and Barbatos came at you with a yell. And for a second, you think he might actually hit you, but his yell stops, and you turn around and instead of finding a maid like in the video, Luke is there, looking deeply disapproving, pushing a cleaning cart, and you just burst out laughing.

Thankfully, the song was over. Because you certainly were not expecting Luke to show up. You looked at Barbatos who just smirked at you.

Lord Diavolo led the enthusiastic clapping and vociferous praising. All the brothers except Lucifer looked utterly delighted. Lucifer was looking at you like you had transformed into Mammon for the evening. You high fived Barbatos, because if you’re going to die for this stunt, you can at least say you died epically.

“Barbatos, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Lord Diavolo trilled.

Barbatos executed a neat bow, and just continued smiling.

“OMG Yuki, that was EPIC!” Levi enthused.

“Karaoke FOREVER!” Asmo giggled, as he hugged you.

“Hey hey! Let’s sing Wolf Totem together!” Mammon said, queuing one of your favorite metal songs.

“Let’s all sing Wolf Totem!” you said, throwing a mike to Luke, who looked startled. “Trust me, its has no profanities.”

“I want to throat sing!” Lord Diavolo called dibs as the song started, the sound of motorcycle engines rumbling, and you were transported to riding a Harley through the Mongolian steppes.

Yep, you definitely need to invite Lord Diavolo to karaoke more often if it means more interactive videos like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankly, this fic is just for me to present Lord Diavolo as Michael Bolton in Lonely Island's Jack Sparrow, complete with costume changes. Because you know he's down for all that chaotic magnificence. 
> 
> If you have never seen the video, just google Lonely Island Jack Sparrow.
> 
> And because I love the video for Run the Jewels Nobody Speak, I forced Barbatos to swear, ALOT.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is mainly set up for chapter 2 (karaoke with Lucifer), but the real end goal is chapter 3 (karaoke with Lord Diavolo).


End file.
